Life is an optical illusion.
I went through life for twenty-four years believing it to be a rabbit. And then I woke up one day and it was a duck. How fun!
I found myself in my usual spot at the coffee shop and realized that I could do anything. That I am brave. That I am happy. That I believe in myself.
That perspective can shift so easily is both inspiring and scary.
Now you see it. Now you don't. Life is magic! Or— life is volatile. Duck then rabbit. Glory then reckoning.
It’s helpful to remember that you have agency in any perspective shift. The image doesn’t just change from duck to rabbit and then you are forced to live in that reality forever. Once you know that the duck exists— that you are capable of seeing it— with some effort, you can choose to see the duck again.
You can choose joy.
To believe in yourself and the world around you is a choice.
Fake it ‘til you make it.
That’s an exaggeration but it’s not wrong. Confidence is earned. It’s a practice, or in other words, a series of choices.
I don’t want to downplay the validity of negative feelings or of difficult circumstances. Sometimes life f*cking sucks. But you can accept your circumstances, feelings, and thoughts— and still choose.
We love to celebrate effortlessness. But I think effort is much cooler. Natural ability only gets you so far. To be great— you must try. Hard. Consistently endeavor to be better.
Hence, it is time to lock in.
Get over yourself.
No one can save you except you.
Stay nervous, stay humble. Not in a scared way, but in a conscientious way. Stay active in your life, in your body, in your thoughts, and in your choices.
Life doesn’t let up so don’t get swept away by its tide. To get to where you want to go, swim.
This sounds harsh. Obviously, it’s impossible to be locked in 24/7. That’s ok. You can ease up. But after you let go, you eventually have to put your foot on the gas again.
Life is chess.
Make a move. Life counters. Make another move.
One at a time, each from your current position— The best choice on your horizon. You can strategize all you want but you can never fully map out the moves of a match. Even in 2025 there is no algorithm that solves chess.
You can’t prevent mistakes or failure, but to play the game is to succeed. Don’t like the result? Choose differently. Adopt another strategy. Your capacity for growth is infinite. The strength and resilience of human beings is extraordinary.
If you keep trying, then one day, you will feel the change. You will wake up on a January morning and those stupid aphorisms will actually click—
“Rome wasn’t built in a day”
“With great power comes great responsibility”
“Que será será”
And then you’ll have a bad day and think, “screw that sh*t!”
But don’t worry—
“It’s just a bad day, not a bad life”
It’s a bunny. Its’s a duck. It’s both. It’s neither. It’s your choice.
xx Audrey
I talked to you for two minutes in the coffee shop. You got talent. I was a recruiter in advertising after struggling trying to make it as a writer. I say you should reread “TOMORROW, TOMORROW, TOMORROW” what every woman your age has read, especially the ones who went to MIT!!!’ Think like Sadie in that blessed book. Your writing needs just a little more bite. I also suggest Chuck Klostermann, Merrill Markoe, and David SEDARIS. They write stuff that makes you laugh out loud. Hard to accomplish. And if you like fashion criticism, no one did it better than Mike Redmond and a site called “The SUPERFICIAL.” Buzzzfeed bought it and the whole thing died. But the guy had a way touching on the zeitgeist by mercilessly critiquing the fashion sensibilities of “celebrities.”
Hey, you can also continue be a “nice,” positive-positive-positive writer with daily affirmations and all. But remember where you are. Chicago. Home of the “Onion.” Be a little more snarky—that’s what I’m trying to say.
P.S. it’s brutal writing. Few are chosen. So do have that backup gig!….And while you are at it—design a winning ad campaign for Discover—because they have never ever had one. They always did junk mail at an unheard of level…..
Loringrocke