Audit 005: intuitive dressing, sassy librarians, and the death of my wishlist

ur gut's got somethin to say. now listen.

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I’ve been shamelessly repeating outfits this month. I wake up sleepy and cold and just want to put on something warm and cozy.

Enter— the vintage 100% lambswool fisherman sweater:

the star of the season

and she’s not even itchy

at a certain point I stopped taking pictures of my December OOTDs because it was just this sweater

This b*tch keeps you warm AF AND makes you look like a chic, fluffy, little marshmallow princess. I try to wear my other sweaters, but ultimately end up replacing them with this one before I walk out the door.

If you live in or are visiting Chicago, I’m about to give you a HOT tip— Ragstock on Belmont has a ridiculous number of vintage, 100% wool, fisherman sweaters for ~$25 a pop (these go for $100+ online). I tried on over 10 different ones before deciding on my fav. This place is heaven on earth for the fashion Goldilocks.

Alas, my fashion monotony is a symptom of a larger theme in my life right now: listening to my gut.

I’ve always defined myself by my independence, as someone who’s good at doing what they want regardless of others. However, “independent” is not synonymous with “intuitive”.

This might not sound revelatory, but for me it has been.

While I’m no people-pleaser, I wasn’t fully conscious of the pressure I put on myself to do the “right” thing rather than what might honor how I actually feel. I don’t kowtow to others but I do aim to please Audrey Lite— the other tenant of my headspace who often informs me of what I should do. I love her dearly for she drives me to be better and to achieve, but god can she can be judgemental and constricting.

think the Lizzie McGuire cartoon, but brunette, lounging around in my brain

For example, I’ll stay at a coffee shop to do “productive” things because I only just got there and I spent $8 on a latte so I really should make the most of my time and money. Meanwhile, my body wants to move— to take a walk or window shop or just get a change in scenery.

Similarly, I’ll read every single Substack in my inbox, regardless of the topic and my relative interest level in said topic. Audrey Lite makes me the completist I am.

Now? If I don’t want to stay at the cafe even though I just sat down 20 mins ago? I leave! I’m not particularly inclined to read a Substack in my inbox? Archive it! I haven’t posted in ages but I’m not in a writing mood? Don’t! You get the idea…

You might think that doing what you want instead of what you should leads to laziness or the shirking of responsibilities. Instead, I’ve found it often relieves pressure from to dos and the shame of not doing them, thus decreasing procrastination, and actually making you more productive. When you’re not constantly being followed around by the feeling that you need to do something, it gets a lot easier to do the thing. You feel freer, more yourself, and incubate a safe environment for the sparks of creativity and serendipity.

This is your reminder that “should” is rarely a productive thought.

So I keep wearing the same snuggly sweater and Levi jeans that I want to wear, even when I think I should switch things up. I feel like I should actively try new styling and layering approaches, or even just utilize a larger chunk of my wardrobe. But then I roll out of bed and want to put on thermals, my fisherman sweater, and pants— wearing a mini skirt and coordinating 3 different top layers would feel dissonant.

Loving an item so much you want to wear it every day isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a sign that you know your style and what works for you! Especially when you’re a fashion lover and someone who’s spent a ridiculous time curating their wardrobe, why shame yourself for liking what you’ve so carefully chosen?

my inner monologue be like

My other loves of late

1. Blonde Tortoiseshell

I’ve been really into blonde tortoiseshell recently. Because I’m a soft summer¹, blonde tortoiseshell, which is lower contrast than regular tortoiseshell, is the perfect way for me to add interest to an outfit while maintaining harmony in the overall look.

pictured blonde accessories are Machete

2. Sassy Librarian (aka fake glasses)

I’ve also been super into this pair of oversized blond tortoiseshell faux glasses (see above) I thrifted. My boyfriend calls this look “the sassy librarian”. The best part of this is that I don’t even have 20/20 vision. I just refuse to wear my actual glasses because I’m nearly -7 plus an astigmatism, which means my real lenses make my eyes look tiny and beady. I know it’s vain but I just hate how I look in them, I really do.

Fake glasses are one thing. But wearing contacts, and then fake glasses on top of that? It feels criminal. Good thing I don’t play by the rules 😈

This spectacle also reflects my current lit-girl era. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve cooled it on the writing content as I’ve been busy reading— trying to finish a bunch of books I’ve neglected so I can add them to my 2024 list. Again, superficial yes, but ultimately, rewarding. If the ends justify the means, I’ll feign intellectualism in my OOTDs til Sisyphus finishes pushing his boulder up the hill.

3. Levi 505s

I’m a Levi 501s girl for life but I recently thrifted a pair of Levi 505s and have been digging their marginally more relaxed fit. I especially love the way they break when paired with my sheep— my go to cozy shoe that feels like walking on well, sheep (aka the UGG Tazz Braid, second hand here in a 9, in a 6, in an 8, and also in brown!)

4. Pop of color button downs

A side effect of my outfit monotony has been a lack of color or spice. I’m okay with outfit repeating but I am NOT okay without a girly POP. My favorite remedy has been to layer a colorful button up over thermals and/or a sweater. I thrift my button ups oversized, which means you can really cram in the layers underneath. It feels put together but cozy, formal but fun.

exact pink one I have here, and here, similar blue ones here, and here

5. Tied up with a bow

I LOVE headbands on other people but I think I’ve realized why they don’t quite work for me: I have a small head and very narrow forehead. Ok that sounds weird but I’m just being so for real with you right now. Sometimes I even have to take in the headbands I buy because they are too big for my below-average head circumference.

So instead, I’ve been leaning into loosely pulled back styles accessorized with a bow. E.g., front strands out loose french braid or George Washington low pony topped off with a ribbon. I will NEVER leave the bow trend behind.

Audrey’s HOT tip: save the ribbons from any presents you get this holiday season to be worn as hair accessories! It’s sustainable and cute. I do this every year since I tend to lose my hair ribbons frequently and don’t want to spend actual money on new ribbon.

my current go-to style

this one’s even easier

Ins & Outs Summary

“Wishlist” state of the union

Recently I’ve felt that the term “wishlist” doesn’t quite fit my needs. To me, wish implies a desire for a thought to become reality. However, much of my “wishlist”— the things I see —> love —> save, I don’t actually desire to become my reality. Maybe in time, I’ll find that I do genuinely wish for them but right now, I’m happy with what I already have. So my “wishlist” has been reincarnated as a “cool stuff that resonates with me” list:

1. these UGG inserts are such a novel idea! I think they’re meant for UGG rain boots and other unlined UGGs, but I feel like you could totally put them into any shoe to make them uber cozy for the winter.

2. personality hire cap b/c LOL duh. You can pick one up in person at The Understudy bookstore and cafe, or anywhere online.

3. i’m currently obsessed with everything swan. I love this little swan x jellybean number that also leans into the current bean trend. And I have no clue what they smell like but these swan shaped frags by Gumamina have my heart.

4. these Miu Miu/Sandy Liang-esque satin ballet shoes in “apricot” have re-entered the chat. They’ve danced their way on and off my wishlist the past few months due to their impracticality but this month they’re back. They’re just so dang pretty!

5. the Free People barrel leg pants in “wine tasting”. I had these on my Christmas wishlist last year in purple but they sold out. I like the red blend better anyways.

6. a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel conversation starter purse a la

   Viv Chen
   . Anyone who knows me IRL knows I’m OBSESSED with cavvies. And can you blame me? Even King Charles II decreed they be allowed into any UK establishments². I digress… Just do a quick search for your fav dog breed (or fav animal) + purse and you’ll find some gems.

7. these cozy-looking fur lined Zara ankle boots. I’ve been thinking about getting a pair of comfy (i.e., not my heeled or Dr. Martens) winter booties, like my UGGs or Moon Boots but less chunky, so that they fit under jeans without altering the silhouette.

8. the Barbour coat has also re-entered the chat after I tried one on at a Nordstrom rack the other day. I prefer the BIG collar variation.

9. my frag collection is full as of now, but I can still admire from afar! First off, the sales associate at Merz picked out Vilhelm’s Poets of Berlin for me based on ~my vibes~ and can I just say, she ACED the assignment! The blueberry note is so unique and well done.

   I also love the idea of Frederic Malle’s Portrait of a Lady— regal but artsy, feminine but cool, and long-lasting, The New Savant’s Only in New York candle— so I can pretend I live in NYC, and maison millais’s funny little things whispered at very important dinner parties— I love the ridiculously long and specific name!

Enjoy the holidays y’all! I know I am— with lots of cozy sweaters, blogging, reading, Harry Potter watching, and hot cocoa drinking.

xx Audrey

1. If you don’t know what this means, Google “seasonal color analysis” or “what’s my season?”

2. This is an urban legend unfortunately 🙄